Love is one of those words we throw around a lot… we hear it in songs, watch it in movies, and feel it in those little moments when someone makes our heart race. But if we are honest, many of us have confused love with infatuation, thrill, or the fantasy of what we think love should be.
So how do you know if it is truly love? How do you separate the butterflies from the real thing?
It Is More Than Just Thrill
The thrill of seeing someone you like, the excitement of a text, or the anticipation of the next date can feel overwhelming. It is easy to confuse that rush with love, but thrill alone fades. The spark matters, but real love is about more than just the highs… it’s what happens after the excitement settles.
When the newness wears off, do you still want to be there? Do you feel safe in their presence, not just excited? Love is not only about being thrilled, it is about being at peace with someone, even in silence.
It’s Both Logical and Emotional
A lot of us think of love as something purely emotional… like it just takes over and sweeps us off our feet without explanation. But real love isn’t blind… it’s full of feeling, yes, but it also has reason behind it.
Want me to make it even more casual, like how you’d say it in a conversation with a friend?
Love asks questions like, “Can I trust this person?” or “Do our values align?” Will this relationship help me grow, or will it destroy me? Love isn’t about brushing off red flags or coming up with excuses for hurtful behavior… it’s about finding the balance between your heart and your mind.
You know it’s love when your feelings aren’t reckless but steady… when you’re not just drawn to someone because they make you feel good for a while, but because they fit into your life, your future, and your peace of mind.
It’s about choosing, not just feeling…
Feelings come and go… but love is more than just a passing wave. It’s a choice you keep making every single day. It is showing up even when you do not feel butterflies. It’s being kind even when you’re upset… it’s forgiving, adjusting, and choosing to try again.
The real test of love isn’t in how someone treats you when everything feels easy… it’s in how they show up when things get tough. Do they stick around when life gets messy?Do you both choose to fight for each other instead of against each other? That is love in action.
It Does Not Trap You, It Frees You
Some relationships feel like chains… they keep you small, insecure, or always afraid, and that’s not love. Real love gives you freedom… you can both go your own way without worrying about what the other is doing, without asking yourself if they’re cheating, if they’re being faithful, or if they’re doing well while you’re apart.
Real love allows you to be yourself, to grow, and to shine. It encourages you to pursue your passions, not clip your wings. If you feel more secure, more confident, and more alive in someone’s presence, that is a sign it may be love.
It’s About Giving, Not Just Receiving
Infatuation is usually about what you get from someone… how they make you feel or what they can offer you. Love is different… it’s about reciprocity, about giving without keeping score, about cheering for each other’s dreams and celebrating each other’s wins.
But real love also knows when to set boundaries… giving doesn’t mean losing yourself. It’s about knowing when to give and when to step back, when to compromise and when to stand your ground.
Love is also safe and consistent… it’s not supposed to feel like a wild rollercoaster. Sure, there will be ups and downs, but real love stays steady. It shows up on the good days and the hard ones, through laughter and through tears.
When you’re with someone who truly loves you, you feel at ease… you’re not walking on eggshells or worrying if they’ll leave. Love builds trust, and trust brings peace.
So how do you really know if it’s love? You know it’s love when it’s both exciting and steady… when it feels right in your heart and makes sense in your life.
Want me to go through the whole piece and smooth everything out in this same tone so it all flows naturally together? it’s emotional but also makes sense. It’s not just about the butterflies, it’s about the choices you keep making every day. Love doesn’t trap you, it frees you.
It may not be perfect, but it’s real when it gives you both peace and passion, growth and stability, safety and excitement.
If you find yourself in something that feels fleeting, confusing, or painful, maybe it is not love. But if you find yourself in a relationship where your heart and your mind agree, where freedom and commitment exist side by side, then maybe, just maybe, you have found the real thing.
